


Toasted

by The_Alias (Artemis_Day)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Darcy Lewis Bingo 2020, Darcyland (Marvel), Early Mornings, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, MCU RarePairs Bingo 2019, Poptarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25470247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Day/pseuds/The_Alias
Summary: Darcy wages war against her greatest foe yet.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Sam Wilson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 60
Collections: Darcy Lewis Bingo, MCU RarePairs Bingo 2019





	Toasted

**Author's Note:**

> Written for:
> 
> Darcyland Bingo Square D1: Pop-tarts  
> MCU Rarepairs Bingo Square O3: Falcon/Sam Wilson

Sam walked into the kitchen to find Darcy glaring at the toaster. 

“You think you’re going to beat me,” she sneered at her reflection in the polished silver. “Yeah, you think I’ll just give up and eat cereal for breakfast, don’t you? Think you can conquer my need for pop-tarts? Ooh boy, my friend, have you ever unlocked the beast.”

Her breath fogged the metal as if to mock her. That was how she seemed to take it. Grabbing the colorful box, she slammed two more pop-tarts into the slits. 

“Okay, Mr. Toaster,” Darcy said. “I’m going to push this lever down, and it’s going to stay down, and you are going to get hot and my pop-tarts are going to get hot, and then they are going to pop out and I’m going to eat them and get that gooey sugar rush I need to get me through the day. Oh yes, it will be beautiful. Empty caloried manna from Heaven. Yes… Yes…”

While Darcy did her Gollum impression and caressed the temperamental appliance, Sam went about making himself some French roast. This new coffee maker was so much better than the old one. Just one press of a button and he’d have gourmet Folger’s coffee in under two minutes. Modern technology: what a miracle it was.

Except for toasters apparently.

“This is it, bitch,” Darcy flicked the lever. “You’re going down. Down until my pop-tarts are ready. You can’t break me, toaster demon! I am an immovable force of nature! An all-powerful goddess of the pop-tarts!”

“Fighting the good fight today,” Sam commented as the fumes of coffee wafted in his face. “But did you-”

“Silence, Sam! I am about to assert dominance over this kitchen.”

With sweat pooling on her brow, Darcy pushed the lever down inch by agonizing inch. Sam watched with bated breath. The clock ticked away precious seconds as the lever clicked into place. Darcy gasped. Let go.

It swung back up.

“Dammit!” Darcy punched the counter. “What is wrong with this thing? It’s doing the same shit the old toaster was doing. Are we cursed? Did we anger the gods? Where’s my phone? I am chewing Loki’s ass out for this one.”

Sam glanced at the boxes in the corner. “You sure that’s not still the old toaster?” 

“Of course I’m sure,” Darcy snapped. “I set it up last night.”

“When was that?”

“What do you mean ‘When was that?’ After we got home from the store! I got the coffee maker going, and then my mom called and told me to call my grandma, and then…” As Darcy ranted, her eyes slowly widened, until words failed her and her arms dangled limply at her sides. “Shit…”

With a chuckle, Sam slid the unopened toaster box out from under the empty coffee maker box. “Maybe we should get this baby going. I’m craving pop-tarts, too.”

Darcy crossed her arms and pouted, refusing to look at Sam even as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed along her cheek. Hard as she tried, it wasn’t long before her anger faded and a smile leaked through.

There was Sam’s girl, tough as nails. No kitchen appliance in the world could keep her down.


End file.
